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[[Comments]] Why am I here? [20 Jun 2009|12:38am] Recently life has become increasingly confusing. And in retaliation I have become increasingly distant. I lack an audience of approval. An applaud in the distant back seat, just anything. I am back in the lowest regions. So it's only up right? I wish I could lie and convince you that I was an optimist. I wish I could tell you the truth and say I was a pessiist though. Isn't it funny how sometimes it takes being completely done with something before you can realize that yo don't need it and never did anyway? Anyway these are random thought to myself and unless you were me I don't think they could be decifered. Though I am writing to you as though I know somewhere someone lurks in the dark and is still at least curious. Fuck! hopefully batman isn't stalking me right? Back to the train. Ice cream is dankness. This felt good i am appeased. Burn the church. burn the state. burn the money that makes us hate.

[[Comments]] [24 Nov 2008|08:39am] School is eating me alive.... I wish I'd been a math major, I coud have walked through college with my dick hanging out of my pants. This stuff is killing me though. My god how i love it though. So, I can't really even believe I remembered the password to this guy anyways. Just thought I'd stop by before they deleted it.

1 WTF Mate [[Comments]] [27 Nov 2007|08:19am] Umm.... girls are whores, and everyone else sucks, reminder to self to always remember these two things before engaging in any form of conversation with anyone. Oh yeah, school and life suck equally too. Maybe that calls for a p.s. but I guess not.

1 WTF Mate [[Comments]] And here's how you know you love this girl. [05 Apr 2007|05:37am] I just had a gone pulled on me by my girlfriends dad. Now, I know this has come up alot in the past, but seriously. I could have been a robber, if the robber was hooking up with your daughter in upstairs in her room. But seriously the door was open all night, it was just an honest dry hump. Which I was promised never to happen again. At least it was just a piece if shit 9 mil I know they don't have ammo for. I wasn't really scared but at the same time tomoorow is gonna be akward as hell.

[[Comments]] I'm gonna climb a mountain, highest mountain, gonna jump off ain't nobody gonna know... [01 Apr 2007|09:05pm] [ music | apx ] I am such a pessimist. I really think its a part of me though, I know it is a huge part of my sense of humor whatever I've twisted and melded that into along the way is. It's ok, I like it I can make people laugh, or I can be that creepy kid in split seconds from each other. I really wish I had went snowboarding yesterday it would have been wonderful. Other than that my band has played two shows this weekend, both private. One byob one paying. My band is raking in about $800 or so a month for the past two months. it kicks ass. Soon it will be a paying gig hopefully, I am also trying out for a latin ensemble hopefully, but I must speak with the Morrocan first. Aside from that I haven't slept in three nights, drove home from evergreen wasted and drifting, once in the snow, once in the rain. I love my car so much. My mom thinks I've been doing blow again. Staying up watching TV all night till I have to work, staying out till morning every night then getting up at 9 and doing jagerbombs with her. HA I wish I could afford that shit, no Its something stronger, a much more powerful aphrodesiac. Not that I haven't been acting a little weird, but I love life right now. Staying up til sunrise every morning with her, raiding her dads records for Cat Stevens, Marshall Trucker Band, Traffic, anything under the sun and dancing the dinner timer away. Soon we'll run out of stuff to watch, and to be honest I can't wait.

[[Comments]] I don't wanna be stuck in jail, when the sun goes down. [28 Mar 2007|11:11am] Last night I went and saw String Cheese Incident again, only this time in vail. And it was fucking sick. I had so much fun I should be arrested. Actually the ride up there was killer everyone was cramped and then we got inside to hear some Bassnectar all kinds of other shizz. Chet got sick after first cheese set so me and Nyssa grooved pretty much all night long. The ride home was snowing like a motherfucker, and I guess Adam was trippin out. Cool, glad I'm alive. can't really remember making it back to my house, but it wasn't too far. Peace.

[[Comments]] Why is it always in my bands best interest to upset me? [23 Mar 2007|07:37am] Trips, educational pursuits, or projects that could lead to new outlooks should be on your agenda. You may have difficulties while traveling or problems dealing with close friends or relatives. Business or pleasure trips will be knowledgeable as well as highly successful. Hmm... but yeah. We played Quiixotes last Sunday with a bunch of scraemo shit. We always headline and all the little kids always scurry out before 10. Bitches. Not that I really care it's takes at least a few years of real life to even understand what we're trying to throw down in ya'lls ears. Anyways, I will be headin out of town for a few days next week. I will be awsome, though I may never come back, that kinda scares me. But I am in the mood of doing what I say. Other than that I have just been haning out with Nyssa, her and Zoe broke up and now, well now... sweet I'm off to work or something equivalent.

[[Comments]] Egg Drop!? fuck off... [15 Mar 2007|12:53pm] I tried yoga last night for the first time. I hurt like hell today. Band practice today hopefully I'll be able to stretch out a little before hand. Other than that I guess I have more bills now, I need to pay of my cedit card asap.

[[Comments]] Ahh...AH!....a....wah.HOO! [14 Mar 2007|12:38am] One sided attractions are likely. Minor accidents may occur if you don't concentrate on what you're doing. Think before you act. Unforeseen circumstances will disrupt your daily routine. So I've just been sitting here waiting for a particular text message from particular people I don't usually like to text message and I've been really wondering why they put Shiraz in a clear bottle and Merlot in a red colored bottle that is the exact same color as the wine, not to mention the extrordinary similarities between the Shiraz and just about every other kind I've seen in the past month. There's something about coming into a house for a show of tongues at one oclock, Oh well, only a Californian could answer my question, maybe I'll ask. I'm going to Lake Havassu for spring break pimp. I'm gonna get one trip on my KA before I do the swap in my car. I can't wait to get my Skyline front clip. I missed Latin Fusion night tonight, which sucks. The salsa girls that dance are fuckin hot. Muhammed needs to hook it up with some with some foreign girls. I need out of this lesbian pipe dream, ahahaa. goddam the only differnce between wine and a mixed drink is how well you can spell. You take a bite, put it back on the shelf we love you better than you love yourself breaker to breaker and make up the process rip the vantages, rip up the dance floor Yeah, I think Mae Shi is the greatest band ever created. I qoute them in papers. I take classes about non-senese. Seriously, is there a school for insanity? yes. I go to it, I almost anticipate a epic coke bing about halfway through what would be half of my life. I don't want to live much longer after watching Rick James in a rock lounge. But shit this choco thai takes gooood. yes indeed peavey. peace/...

[[Comments]] [26 Feb 2007|09:49am] [ music | alias ] I'm trying to break this writer's cramp, massage my hand and daydream Out the window innuendo, watch the water find it's path down the glass It seems, erratic direction, it's only perfection Rest my head inside my hands, pace back and forth inside my mind I wish sometimes I wouldn't reminisce so much such things, tend to make one reflect and dissect situations to an extreme Hard now to redeem what was there before No more gone are those days and ways have parted Gone from feeling solid trust to outsmarted Anyway, I'm now moving on to a distance far from yesterday It's best this way I feel as though I've missed this moment of truth Outcome uneventfull. I've lost the ability to feel sentimental I can stare at a puddle and see a million places I love It's comforting thoughts of places I've been, places I will never see again Send my love to all who were there, wishing I could crawl back in But I've transformed and the pieces wouldn't fit, so the sorenecks will cease Eyes searching to the sky to try to find some form of peace And I keep pulling up blanks, yet I'm wearing this mask for the sake of others We all miss things I suppose, we must let go, well I'm not ready Just let me sit in silence and soak in what's trailing down the window to cleanse my emotions, to begin the process of preparing myself Intake ambiance a tool for meditation Progressing towards the clouds with at whom I am complete Defeat the chains that restrain an eager sensation Equal balance in and out, all inhibitions shall deplete I watch the drop join it's friends and become one with the crowd Reminding me all to well, forcing me to sigh out loud Look into clouds, to envision, the inside of my head I'm turing leave at this turning point. Remembering what they said as they drove off one by one they left taking pieces of me untill I felt empty inside already looking forward to that day when I'd be returning and I hadn'r even left yet From then on I took the inside out approach You're granted lots of time to think when when your new position is coach And your team is sleeping the whole time, when it's 2:40 am in the morning And you're in the middle of nowhere with the buzz of the AM radio, the only one that's there You think a lot about life, that's where it all began for me the more I thought, the more more I began to clearly see absolutely every aspect of life in a new light I figured out my Rubix Cube.. well I got it somewhat right And things are coming together as I slowly come undone And the occurence known as the "it" is swept under the rug and now my burden weights a ton But it only makes me stronger and I refuse to break I'm letting things pass by, for the family's sake Just give me a picture of the truth so I can hold it near and watch the rainfall, syncopated with one lonesome tear love that song, I can never hear all the lyrics I want to

[[Comments]] What's the true recipe for treachorous times? I tell em: Fat Cars, Danger, Fire, and Knives. [24 Feb 2007|12:20pm] [ music | Ace rizzle ] It finally becomes fun for me when I become comfortable enough to antagonize. When I've collected enough info to talk my way out of anything, it doesn't take much. One thing pretty much and alot of thinking on your toes. If I don't get but one chance, I'll obsess. What's wrong with me when I regret everything everyone else has done, but nothing I have. Selfrighteous? Asshole? I get the second one more often. I honestly think there is no one else left like me, I think I have become an anomoly. People don't really get what I'm looking for, and don't look at what I'm showing them. I'm done looking, peeping moment by moment, for something not there. There isn't someone out there that, drinks like me, thinks like me, fucks like me. I just seriously need someone who can keep up. Unexaustable resources. I'm becoming overly mathematical, and dull. I don't give a shit, I need someone who can cope with me at all four times of the day in all my forms and complexities and not give a shit. I want someone who's given up on everything but themselves.

1 WTF Mate [[Comments]] I'll take my seat atop the Brooklyn bridge, with a coke and a bag of chips. [16 Feb 2007|08:50pm] [ music | interpol ] Last nights show was amazing. There is something about being on stage, it's different than in my basement playing to no one. Last night made me realize something else, this is a paying gig. I can live off this. I love it when I'm nottinking of sit just swinging watcing everyone dance all fuckered up. After party at Rubys kicked ass too. We quadrupled everyone elses ticket sales and packed te p-lace up pretty good. Next show will be ever better. to watch a thousand lemmings plumet just because the first one slipped.

[[Comments]] tryin to get all my old music back... [14 Feb 2007|09:20am] [ music | my morning jacket ] Exhaustion will lead to minor injury if you don't know when to quit. Trips should be your choice. Sudden changes could result in estrangements. So, for starters I fucking hate lesbians. That's it, end of story. Other than that today should be cool. Yeah, umm... so I was having a conversation in the shower with a scientist atop a mountain, we were debating the angle of the rocket being blasted to the other side. Simply put I built a few test rockets out of bamboo while he wqas doing all his math, I started to lift one off he shouted, "What the hell are you doing, my calculations are incomplete." I simply looked at him and said, "I love math but I can eyeball gravity." I have alot of weird conversations with myself, I've been inventing characters the past few days as a kind of brain excersise. It has been helping a little with my memory. I haven't forgot anything serious on purpose in awhile. This morning jacket song fucking hits in my car.

[[Comments]] I hate being born on a cusp. [12 Feb 2007|08:23am] [ music | Avett Brothers ] Your irritability may drive your loved ones crazy. You will gain knowledge through your adventure. Clear up domestic chores that have remained undone for some time. Thursday Hi-Dive, Rev. Weird Beard, go see it. Do it. I mixed a bluegrass song down on Saturday, couldn't get it quite to cd due to technical errors, but messing with a Mackie 32 channel is alot of fun. My group is pretty cool too, so that's awsome. Other than that woke up to the usual noon o'clock breakfast with Nyssa, late as fuck to band practice but it's ok it happens at my house. We didn't get anything recorded... And if I were leaving, would I catch you dreamin and if I weren't gonna be gone long could I take you home? And if I told you I loved you would it change what you see and if I were staying would you stay with me and if I had money would it all look good and if I had a job now like a good man should and if I came to you tomorow and said let's run away would you roll like the wind does baby would you stay and my heart is dancing to a november tune and I hope that you hear me singing songs about you I sing songs of sorrow because you're not around See babe I'm gone tomorow, baby follow me down And I don't know why I have to but this man must move on I love my time here, didn't know til I was gone November shadows shade November change November spells sweet memories the season blue remains Your yellow hair is like the sun lite however sweet it shines bit by the cold of december I'm warm beside your smile old lady telll me I'm not leaving you're everything I dreamed I'm killing myself thinking, I've fallen like the leaves.

[[Comments]] [05 Feb 2007|01:14am] My hair is long enough to do dred curl thingy's again, some people say I look like Shirley Temple, I don't really care. My cars interior is almost ready to go back together, after some detailing. My stereo should be ubber nice, I can't wait for late night drives in the mountains. I aven't been riding in a long time. I saw Pans Labrynth tonight, twisted, more sides to it than I could have imagined going into it. Depressing really, almost as depressing as the blow sound track. I'm going to bed. Thank you kindly, for thinking of me if I'm not smiling, I'm just thinking Come back sorry, happy or sad When all is done and spoken, you're up or I'm down Can you show me a dream? Can you show me one that's better than life... Can you stand it in the pouring rain? Neiter can I...

[[Comments]] I walk the block with a halo and a stick, pokin your patience [04 Feb 2007|04:28am] [ music | Radiohead untill How to Disapear came on... ] So I've been awake for a good few hours now, just setting my drums up and micing. I wanna just sound check em up and get it done but it's like 4.30 so I think its a no go. This week has been fucking strange, kinda good though. I really don't have the focus to post these thoughts. Lifes not a bitch, life is a beautiful woman, you only call her a bitch cause she won't let you get that sweet pussy. Maybe she didn't feel ya'll had any similiar interests, or maybe you're just an ass hole who couldn't sweet talk the princess.

[[Comments]] fuckin sexy. [27 Jan 2007|12:42am] [ music | apc ] not sure how long the dealer will host pictures of a sold car, but there she be.... I went to a mystery theater dinner tonight and holy shit was it weird, strangest experience of my entire life. cool peace

[[Comments]] kyla cries cologne [24 Jan 2007|09:07am] [ music | fair to midland ] Those close to your heart may be difficult to reason with. You will be accident prone if you aren't careful today. Do not react too harshly when dealing with partners. Yesterday was a very very good day. I bought a Silvia again. Pearl white 1996, cherry with 111,000 miles on the bitch. I am so happy it is not funny, I love that car so much. It is the absolute sexiest car I have ever owned. I am so glad that retard hit me in my accord, it was so worth it to end up in another 240sx. I will porbably put pictures up somewhere soon. Other than that school is pretty rocking now. My new schedule being much better. I guess they combine ear training and piano together now. Umm... hard, yes that's it. Oh well.. Tell them all to cut me off with left hand, rusted scissors on marbled covered mountains you're the brimstone

[[Comments]] [22 Jan 2007|08:54am] I've always tried to live as the exception. To the rule, and any rule I can find and twist not ever quite breaking. I've always liked to live the dirty minus the consequence. I know I won't always be able to out run it, not forever. I think everyone lives dual roles, it's gotta be the only way to get by these days. I landed a 360 tail grab yesterday behind my house. Nyssa is gonna come hit it with me today, maybe. Then school time. On Wednesday I didn't go to any of my classes, I dropped everything and spent the whole day re-scheduling. We'll try this whole first day thing again today. Tomorow I think I am going up to Vail, that or Beaver Creek. I don't really have anyone to go with though... oh well. I am getting up butfuck early to do it, and do it I will.

[[Comments]] if it's not real, fuck it. [20 Jan 2007|01:44am] [ music | zeppelin ] Well there's a light in your eye that keeps shining Like a star that can't wait for the night I hate to think I've been blinded baby Why can't I see you tonight? And the warmth of your smile starts a-burnin' And the thrill of your touch gives me fright And I'm shaking so much, really yearning Why don't you show up, make it all right? Yeah, it's all right. And if you promised you'd love so completely and you said you would always be true You swore that you would never leave me, baby: What ever happened to you? And you thought it was only in movies As you wish all your dreams would come true It ain't the first time believe me, baby I'm standin here feeling blue Yeah I'm blue Now I will stand in the rain on the corner I'll watch the people go shuffling downtown Another ten minutes no longer And then I'm turning around The clock on the wall's moving slower My heart it sinks to the ground And the storm that I thought would blow over Clouds the light of the love that I found Now my body is starting to quiver And the palms of my hands getting wet I've got no reason to doubt you baby, It's all a terrible mess I'll run in the rain till I'm breathless When I'm breathless I'll run till I drop, hey The thoughts of a fool's kind of careless I'm just a fool waiting on the wrong block, oh yeah Light of the love that I found...

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